# What's the funniest dive experience you have had?



## ul412al (Oct 2, 2007)

Hey Guys - wanted to pass on my latest funny dive experience, add yours also (if you dare).



I am a relatively new diver but have been diving a lot this year. So I jumped at the opportunity to take a friend's sailboat out to Ft. MCree and overnight the weekend (thinking I would do some snorkeling at the least). I threw in my snorkel gear (fins,mask, snorkel) and we sailed out. Next morning the water was looking awesome (super clear), so I put on my snorkel gear and did an awesome giant stride from the sailboat. My friend jumped in also (I even snorkel with a buddy). We both scrubbed the bottom of the boat and checked out the zincs, etc. After we finished, I decided to drop to the bottom and check out some small fish. The water was about 12' deep and very clear. Enough background - here is the funny part:



My buddy stayed up top and I dropped to the bottom. I started watching all the little critters and checking out some shells, then checked out the anchor, etc. When I needed another breath, I just took a breath out of my regulator.....(oh yeah, I didn't have a regulator)! So I inhaled a full breath of nature's finest saltwater through my snorkel which was still in my mouth. Awesome! After ascending and coughing for an hour (with my buddy laughing his head off) we had a celebration beer that I didn't drown in 12' of water (with a buddy and boat within arms reach).



Lesson learned, let's hear some others!


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## sniper (Oct 3, 2007)

That's pretty funny. I could only imagine but icould see how it could happen when you get so use to breathing out of a regulator. Thanks for posting it


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## Worn Out (May 10, 2008)

When I was about 12/ 13, we were in Destin on the shoal north of the Bridge where everone seems to party now.. This was 45 yrs ago... We were anchored along the ledge in deeper water and I was snorkeling around believing that I was Jacque Cousteau.... I saw a small flounder on the bottom and decided that he needed prodding.. That little sucker did not like prodding and he spiraled his way up around me with his interior fin extended and sliced me up in in at least a dozen different locations as he swam around me... My emotions were a complete mix of anger, pain and embarrasment !....


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## Catfish Hunter (Oct 17, 2007)

My wife and I both dive and I will never forget the day that I heard her scream underwater. She is rather skittish around marine life and a small remora was chasing her around. While she was being "chased" by this remora she was screaming through her regulator so loud I could hear it under water. Needless to say I found much humor in this event. When we went topside i told her that she should have taken a shower before we went diving....the remora was only trying to clean her skin. That went over like a lead baloon.


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## no hooks (Oct 3, 2007)

My brother and I were doing our safety stop at 20' and two grown dolphins swan in close to us. I started making "flipper" noises hoping to keep them interested.

We get back on the boat and my brothers asks me "did you hear the noises those dolphin were making?"

I nearly fell back in the water laughing so hard.


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## Stuart H. Brown (Oct 4, 2007)

Whenwe were kids my dad took my two brothers and I out so he and my older one could dive. He gave me a wrench and told us if something is wrong hit the engine with the wrench and they would come up. Not long after they go down my younger brother feels a big potty coming on and hunkers down off the transom. We deem dad and brother swimming in the ocean with poop an emergency and go to hammering on the motor with that wrench. Noone shows so we hit harder and yell louder. Well, another boat hears our commotion and comes to investigate. They all about fell out of the boat when we tell them we're trying to get our divers up cause brother crapped in the ocean. And apparently the wrench trick doesn't work so good cause they never heard us nor saw any elusive kiddie turds after them.


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## FelixH (Sep 28, 2007)

I did something very similar a month or two ago.

We're all sitting on the boat after a dive whena nice big cobia swim by. With a little help from my dive buddies, I hurredly get enough gear together to get in and go after the cobe... mask, fins, snorkel, speargun.

I roll off the side of the boat and, as I'm descending, Itake a hit off the reg... OOPS! That's not a reg in my mouth, it's a snorkel. So, thereI am hanging onto the ladder, coughing and choking while the cobe swims away.


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## Biller48 (Oct 1, 2008)

Well long story short, was on the Akeeke out of PC shooting AJ's with my brother, had a good one on the spear roping him in slowly, wide circles and once he was close enough to get hands on, he charged and basically head butted me between my reg and mask, lost reg, broke seal on mask, hit me so hard i tasted blood in my mouth, well all that said admidst the insanity, as i recovered my self, i got eyes on my brother and he was sitting onthe wheelhouse and all i could see was bubbles because he was laughing so hard, they arent called reef donkeys for nottin. Happy Huntin.


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## Turtlebait (Dec 3, 2008)

Years ago, on a nightdive at Ft. Pickens, my then dive buddy, Louise and I were looking for some octopi for a Greek friend of mine. Louise was to hold the mesh bag with the drawstring closure while I grabbed the octopus and stuffed him in.

I had acquired one octopus and was trying to retrieve another when Louise screams like a banshee. When I turned around, I saw Louise with the mesh bag held at arms length from her (it was attached to her BC), and an octopus leg wrapped around her regulator and about two inches of the leg INSIDE her mask!

I was laughing so hard, my mask flooded and I started coughing to no end. After I recovered my composure (clearing my mask and such), I disentangled the octopus leg from around her regulator and out from inside her mask. She abruptly disconnected the mesh bag, threw it at me, and commenced to pummelme with her fists,and returned to the beach. I resumed getting the second octopus from under a rock, taking forever to try stuffing him in the mesh bag without losing his twin, and returned to the truck where a totally pissed off Louise was throwing her gear in the back.

After calming her down and putting the octopi in my cooler and latching it securely, I said lets get some ice for the octopi and I'll buy you a wine cooler to calm you down. She agreed and off we went to the Circle K on Ft. Pickens Rd.

I went into the store, still in my wet suit, and got a 4-pack of wine coolers for Louise, and a bag of ice for our catch. The clerk, a male asian, asked what we were doing. I told him about the octopi and he wanted dearly to see one up close. I told him to come on and take a gander. When I opened the cooler for the clerk to peer in, one of the octopi squirted water on him from his siphon. The clerk screamed like a maniac and went running down the road. I was on the asphalt laughing so hard I was crying, and of course Louise started kicking me screaming "It ain't funny!" - Ric


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## gulfwaterman (Nov 16, 2007)

years ago, probably age 12, me and a buddywent down to west pass to shoot some fish. There was an out going tide so we made a drift through the pass and out into the gulf and suddenly I heard a scream, sounded like a little girl, so i pop up and see my buddy walking on water back to the beach! I looked around to see what had happened and there was an older lady on the seawall bowed up on my buddy! He was hooked in the arm. All I could do was laugh. It is still funny to me to this day.


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## Worn Out (May 10, 2008)

Hey Ric, that was funny!!!Maybe not if you are the Asian getting hosed, but funny!


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## Pierce07 (Nov 13, 2007)

Well I dive my dive buddy is Jerry West so I think every dive is pretty memorable. 



We were on a tug and I'm inside looking around and hear someone screaming. I poke my head out and see Jerry fighting with a shark. He then sees me and looks at me like are you gonna help me. I just laugh and went back inside the wreck looking around. He comes up to me and gave me the WTF look and I almost spit my Reg out laughing at him. He then clips his fish off to me and flips me the bird. We continue to the surface and once we hit it. Steve (swander) comes over and was like what the heck happened? I couldn't talk because Jerry was yelling at me and I was just laughing. Jerry probably has more to add but that's my side of the story. 



We have a few stories that everyone would probably get a laugh out of. Jerry can add another one. Maybe the one about me shooting his fish, or him almost shooting me thinking i was a AJ, and he's probably got some good ones.


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## Bigg J (Nov 7, 2007)

Good stories.

I guess it was about 2 months ago we were out diving and on the way to whatever spot we were going to, we came across a descent weedline with bait and birds so we thought it was worth hitting. Got a guy suited up, grabbed his gun and what not for him and instead of rolling off he was just gonna scoot off and just as he did he caught the nearest cleat with his suitand was just hanging off the side of the boat, helpless as could be. Of course we all started dying in laughter, seemed like forever untill somebody said help'm help'm. Never forget that one lol


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## BADBOY69 (Oct 3, 2007)

Well, as Paunchy said, he and I dive together and there is always some funny stuff that happens every time we go out. The funniest was his, "What shark?!" comment. I'll repost that if anyone hasn't heard the story, Clay and I posted it a while back. The next funniest to me was Paunch trying to show me an easier way to unload a Riffe!

We were diving with 'swander' when some sharks followed Paul and I up so we boarded with loaded guns. After pulling anchor and getting under way, we decide to unload the guns. We were easing along and I had that 60" midhandle beast, unloading the bands when Paul scoffed and said, "Nah, this is how ya do that shit..." and promptly pointed his Riffe C2XS over the gunnel of the boat. As I said, "The recoil is gonna..." he pulls the trigger! The ensuing comment was a quiet, "Aw, damn." (Sounded kinda like Larry the Cable Guy) Of course, the recoil jumped the gun outta his hand and it sinks immediately.The boat is in gear moving away from the last seen location of the gun and I'm laughing hysterically, Paunchy issquealing about the 'Man Overboard' button on the GPS, and Steve is yelling to deploy the marker buoy! Now, rememberthose sharks that ran us up? Well, Paul's gotta go down _unarmed_ and retrieve his $500+ gun! Of course, being a good buddy I went back down with him whereupon he immediately finds the gun. Talk about lucky! Ya see Paul around ask him how ya unload a speargun. :doh


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## reefcreature (Oct 3, 2007)

being that i am a search and rescue diver the unit was called out for a missing boater that had fallen overboard and was ran over by the boat. we get on scene and the coast guard had informed us that they had seen a number of sharks in the area of the missing boater from there helicopter. me and a couple of divers get our gear on and drop over the side in 30 feet of water in pensacola bay at 11:00 at night with sharks in the water, terrific! by now 20 minutes had gone by and i had the bottom pretty stirred up to about zero viz and oh yea there is sharks in the water and someone that is no longer with usandi am kinda skittish by now. when all of a sudden and out of nowhere there is a big white mouth that nailed me in the mask. man you could have heard me scream like a school girl as i started back kicking backwardsand damn near sucking my regulator down my throat when i realized much to my relief it was just a very large saltwater catfish. once my heart started beating again i busted out laughing at myselfto which i couldn't keep my mask dry. i continued my dive with my new buddy right behind picking off what my fins were kicking up for another 30 or so minutes. that is one that i won't forget.


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